I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
