So drunk its hurt
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
