i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
