I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
