i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I FOUND THE LEGS
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
