So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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