Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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