you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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