i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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