he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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