and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
