I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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