My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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