Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
