Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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