Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
