I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
