How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
