i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
