Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
