please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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