I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
