Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
