i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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