tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize