Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
