Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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