No period for spring break; use this wisely.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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