At least make sure they are 18
Why
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
