Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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