The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
