did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I met the friendliest cop last night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
