Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
