R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
