im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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