If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
