There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
