So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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