he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
