I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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