what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
