You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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