I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
