Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
