Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
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You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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