I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize