okay pat passed out under dana's car
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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