apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
