I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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