she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
