is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
barbara walters just said penis...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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