He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
