We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I could fuck to npr.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
