Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
