respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
