apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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