Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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