Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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