So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
