ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
