Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
