apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
