very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
