Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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