matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
