can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
